July 30, 2011

I Hate Golfing

I hate golfing. As someone that was involved heavily in sports growing up, I have found golfing to be the most frustrating sport I have ever played. Here's why:

1. I wouldn't even call it a sport. A sport usually involves some sort of exchange between you and other individuals. In basketball, you rotate between offense and defense and you can foul the other person. In tennis, you hit the ball back and forth to each other. In soccer you kick the ball back and forth and try to score on the other team. But no, not in golf. Not even close. In golf, the game is against yourself. How fun is it to play a game against yourself? No fun I tell you! There's no excuse that the other player was better. If you lose, you are the only one to blame. That's not a sport. That's psychology. Anyone up for a round of psychology? Bring your clubs!

2. On that topic, who invented the golf club? They were clearly not in their right mind. Who would think of attaching a small wooden head or piece of metal at the bottom of a long metal stick that is then supposed to hit a very small ball hundreds of yards in a straight line? Why not make the head or metal piece 10 times the size? Then you'd never miss the ball when you swing and you would never embarrass yourself in front of your friends, family or co-workers, especially when said miss happens over, and over, and over, and over, and over. Have you ever experienced the pain in your hands when your club hits the ground at full swing? It hurts even worse when you miss the ball AND the ground. It hurts your back, your arms, your hips and your pride. Believe me, I know. I think golf courses should not only have food carts that tour around the course but medical carts as well, filled with ice bags, numbing lotion and band aids.

3. Who invented the size of the hole and put it so far away from the tee? How demented is it that you can't even see the hole when you hit your first ball? You have to trust the map they give you or those mobile apps that show you where the hole is. What kind of sport requires you to have a map? In basketball you can see the hoops from anywhere on the court. In tennis, the lines are visible from anywhere. In soccer and football, the goals are always within sight. How do you know for sure that the map they give you is accurate? What if some disgruntled employee gives out fake maps just to mess everyone up, not that it would make a difference where my shot would go anyway. And not that it would make a difference whether or not I would hit the side of that beautiful home next to the fairway. Sorry about that.

4. Speaking of fairways, who came up with that name? There's nothing fair about them. It's only fair if you hit the ball onto it. It's certainly NOT fair if you don't. How are you expected to find your ball when it misses the fairway? No wonder they call anything not in the fairway the "rough." I think it's called that to mock you, saying "Rough for you to be in here, hey buddy. Good luck finding your ball." They might as well call it the "Impossible" or the "Forget looking for it, you're not going to find it, get back in your cart." I think whoever invented the "rough" did it as a trick to steal your golf balls.

5. There is no such thing as "Par." I'd like to meet the person who invented this phrase. Who determines "Par" for a hole anyway? 99% of the world can't make a par 4. It takes all of us at least 10 shots. If you want a true "Par," average what it would take the entire world's population to get it in the hole and that is par. I say we abolish "Par" anyway. To me, if you can get the ball in all the holes before the course closes, you win.

All this being said, don't ask me why I agree to play once or twice a year when my work sponsors a local golf tournament. And don't ask me why I think that something will have changed and all of a sudden I'll be better than I was the last time I played. About a month ago I submitted myself for more torture and misery at the Talon's Cove Golf Course in Utah. Someone hit me on the head with a golf club next time I agree to play.

July 22, 2011

Girl's Camp 2011

Maddy joined our ward's Girl's Camp as they headed to Heber Valley Camp this week for 4 nights. This was Maddy's 4th year going so she also joined the 4th year hike. Our ward has a great Young Women's program with around 40 girls, the majority of who came to the camp. As a bishopric we went up with our wives last night and cooked them all dinner. I made basil pesto havarti burgers on a French roll with basil balsamic lemon mayo, tomatoes and lettuce from my garden. Hugh Black made corn on the cob with a delicious salad and David Ahrens, our bishop, brought some amazing chocolate and peanut butter fudge.

It is such a blessing to live in a ward where the Youth Leaders are such amazing people. I was so glad Jeni was able to be there too and she bore a wonderful testimony at the campfire that evening. It reminded me so much of when she was a missionary in Virginia - just full of love and faith in everything she talked about. Maddy was also asked as the MiaMaid president to share her testimony and thoughts and did a wonderful job as usual. I love her simple, sweet testimony and her enthusiasm for the gospel. She also taught a class about "Protecting the Environment" as part of their round of classes.

For fun, I've included pictures from the Girl's camps in 2010, 2009 and 2008. It's amazing to me to see not only how the girl's have grown but also how the ward has grown!

July 18, 2011

Happy 60th Kaye

Last Friday Jeni helped put together a wonderful 60th Birthday celebration for her mom, Kaye, who was visiting from Missiouri. Grandma LaRae made her famous Gumbo and I made some Chocolate Malt Brownies. In addition to opening a new purse filled with fun gifts, including a spa certificate, some of the grandchildren performed for Kaye. Joey, who recently taught himself how to play the Ukelele, made up a song for Kaye as did Steve. Joey's is at the bottom of this post. Hopefully Steve will be publishing his soon. Happy Birthday Kaye!

July 02, 2011

Prom Dinner 2011

Last month I agreed to cook a 7 course meal for 7 couples for Prom at the local High School. It was a fun experience and I hope that this kids enjoyed it. Each couple paid $50 to cover the costs of the food. The menu was as follows:

1. Honey and Goat Cheese Wafer
2. Carrot Raisin Bread
3. Torched Pears with Mascarpone and Proscuitto
4. Buttermilk Blue Cheese Wedge Salad
5. Orange Peel Sorbet
6. Filet Mignon with Mushroom Ragout, Parmesan Regiano Risotto with White Truffle Oil, Blanched Asparagus Spears
7. Chocolate Mousse with Pistachio and Cream

Below are pictures of the the couples that came, the table setup and the official menu. With Maddy starting 10th grade, who knows - it could be Maddy and friends here for dinner next year.