August 01, 2010

Annual Lagoon Checkup












Last week while we were at Lagoon, I went in for my annual checkup. You know the one - you give a barely in high school teenager $4 to guess your age and weight. Then, because of their comprehensive training, their finely tuned intuition and their years and years of tenure, they accurately guess your weight within 3 pounds and your age within 2 years. I anxiously wait all year to go through this experience, knowing that if anyone knows all there is to know about anything, it's going to be a teenager.

The first year I went through this experience, the teenager was having a very bad day. In fact, I think she was purposefully guessing wrong in an attempt to get fired so she could spend more time with her boyfriend. Click here to read about this experience from early 2009.

Later that year I went back and the Senior Management at Lagoon had clearly hired a top notch trained professional. Her guesses were extremely gratifying. Redemption, all around. Click here to read about that experience.

Well, all I can say is that Lagoon has outdone themselves. Since our last visit a year ago, they must have done an extensive search for the world's greatest Guessing Booth professional. I can only imagine the millions of dollars they must have spent and all the countries they must have scoured to find this pro. So what was her guess?

Age - 35
Weight - 165

Don't believe me? Look at the scanned image above of her actual guesses. I can understand the age guess because I've always had a boyish face and charm. And the weight, I have been eating more salads and was wearing a girdle so I guess that is understandable too.

Ok, in reality, where did these guesses come from? 35? Did she not see all my gray hair and receding hairline? Did she not see me standing next to my 41 year old wife (that was her guess on Jeni - way off!) And the weight! I haven't weighed 165 since Junior High! This girl must have left her glasses at home. I'll take it though. I'm looking forward to my checkup next year. I'm going for mid 20's and a weight under 100.